nnnnnoisy

Dear Ade,



I'm sorry if it took me two years to reply to that last letter you sent me. Thanks for asking about Rudolph, though. He got out of his coma quite quickly. In fact, he's having great progress with his therapist. He now cries himself to sleep only intermittently. And his tic isn't all that noticeable anymore.



As for me and the elves, we're buried up to the neck making cheap rip-offs of this season's latest toy. For kids. Get it? I exist for KIDS. Not for overweight internet writers in their mid-20s who specialize in "The Art of Dick Jokes." Be thankful I even got to read your email in the first place. Stop resending the damn thing. You do realize that you've been sending the same email in triplicate for the last two years, haven't you?



Honestly though, I'm at a loss as to what to give for these damn kids. Back then it was "Santa gimme a Tickle-Me-Elmo" or "Santa gimme a pony" or "Santa I want the Immature Radioactive Kung-Fu Warthog special super-action edition" or "Santa gimme a rainbow unicorn."
( More... )

The scenario

Lunchtime was just about over, and hordes of office drones are rushing to the elevator to get back to work (and by “work” I mean “surfing Friendster all day, looking for hot chicks to stalk”). People just want to go back and stalk that hot half-naked chick who looks like she’s been in a scandal which they saw on iyottube.com work. Elevators are sometimes amazingly slow. Oh wait, I mean “all the time.” Tempers are rising as people impatiently tap their feet on the ground floor.

Then

After a long and excruciating wait, an elevator opens, and everyone is stoked to see only one guy inside. The twenty people who have been waiting for an elevator quickly move in.

This pretty much happened

Somehow, nobody realized that the sole person inside the lift is an asshole. Read More »

I interrupt my blogging hiatus to write an entry about Eva Fonda. And I think I’ve sunk to an all-time low with this blog, ladies and gentlemen.

The new teleserye from ABS-CBN has opened up so much discussion on Plurk that I just had to go and watch it. Besides, I don’t think I have anything better to do with my time. Iyottube.com can get old if you’ve been surfing it for two weeks in a row, really. And seriously, how could you resist watching this?

Oh hai thar Cristine Reyes. ‘Sup? Also, OGC.

Just look at Cristine Reyes there. How could you not get entranced by her lovely face, and those eyes, and- wait, you reading this? Fuck.

DON’T JUDGE ME. Read More »