nnnnnoisy

Let’s just say last week was pretty weird for me. I’d rather not go into details, but let me just say the weirdness went into automatic proportions (a private joke there, har har har- what.) which rather left me depressed for the remainder of the week. If not for Sorsi I’d probably be depressed still. And that’s saying a lot, because when I talk to her I usually end up depressed and suicidal most of the time.

Anyway, I’ve probably been so awesometastically used to rejection that I don’t mind it lately (which is scary in itself). I really don’t understand what’s wrong with my approach. C’mon ladies, isn’t getting various pictures of me holding your mom hostage with the words “I Love You. Love Me Back. Or Else” written on her forhead the sweetest thing? Or the time I helpfully handed you your soap and shampoo in the shower? Wasn’t it a pleasant surprise?
Read the rest of this entry »

Got this from here:


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some via rant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving."

"As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially."

"Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over."

"So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over."

"The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

You see the vast expanse of urban decay. You see an endless road, cluttered with tricycles, jeepneys, taxis, and various vehicles. In the horizon you see an impressive skyline of buildings, and at their feet you see a pile of makeshift homes made of used tires and rusted corrugated metal. And everything is coated with a think layer of smog and cigarette smoke.

Welcome, my friend, to Metro Manila.

It may look benign from a distance, but I swear, you will get killed if you are not careful. Metro Manila is home to various types of creatures, harmless and predatory, and you will lose your belongings (like an unviolated asshole, among other things) if you let your guard down for even just a moment. What you, need, kid, is a guide to guide you through the dirty and dangerous streets of Manila in spite of your naiveté.
Read the rest of this entry »

I spent the weekend in internet-less rural Laguna. You know, those places where we have to hunt wild boars for food and offer burnt sacrifices to Maria Makiling to prevent the dragon from eating the sun, hence delaying the end of the world and giving the tribes more time to engage in orgies and human sacrifices.

But that’s not the entire point of the article. You see, my grandparents live in that place. But that still is not my point.

You see, my aunt got married two months ago and since me and my aunt have a very small age gap (see what I did there, tita?) she finally got relieved of the pressure of getting married and stuff. And guess who the grandfolks set their eyes on next.

Clue: His name starts with “A” and ends with “de Magnaye”.

So cue clueless Ade, walking into the nipa hut (yes, they live in a nipa hut. I kid not. Well, the nipa hut’s got airconditioning. So whatev.), greeting his grandfolks like he always does. Then his grandpa, sensing a moment of weakness, drops the bomb:

“Say, Ade, when are you getting married?”

You do not ask that to a single 25-year old who has no plans of getting married just yet because 90% of the women he meets treat him as a gay best friend only straight while the remaining 10% treat him as a sexual offender.
Read the rest of this entry »

On May 3, 2008, the retarded boys of The Man Blog finally held its highly-anticipated concert, the first-ever Banana Gangbang Rock Festival at Bela Bar in Greenhills. Featuring bands from the members of TMB, it was an awesome night full of face-melting rock and golden beer. Lots of it.

More pictures after the jump.
Read the rest of this entry »

IRON MAN IN 5 MINUTES

FADE IN:

EXT. INSIDE AN APC CRUISING THROUGH AFGHANISTAN - DAY

TONY STARK is flirting with some SOLDIERS

		TONY STARK
	Hi, I'm Tony Stark. You might know me
	as Robert Downey Jr. and I'm perfect
	for this role because I'm an alcoholic.

		SOLDIERS
	OMG we're in the same van as Robert
	Downey Jr! Let's all fanboy him and do
	kawaii signs because we're idiots and
	we'll die within the next 3 minutes!

The APC in front of them explodes. The soldiers try to
protect TONY STARK the best way they could- by getting
killed and leaving TONY STARK to fend for himself.

Read the rest of this entry »