nnnnnoisy

Sometimes, I swear, there is a big conspiracy that purports to make little kids a sex-crazed generation. How, you may ask? You see, toys like Bratz teach little girls how to dress as skankily as possible, Dora Aquapets make for very private bedroom fun for all ages, and childhood heroes like Jamie Lynn Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton could actually testify that alcoholism, teenage pregnancy, and uploading sex videos on the internet are actually cool.

So where does it all bring us? just the other day I was taking a leisurely stroll along a mall when i chanced upon this toy:

A Spider-Man web flicker pack. You have a webslinger and some rubber webs, and then you flick them all over the place, much to the chagrin of your folks. “Oh look! Our son’s throwing away expensive molded rubber all over the place! I bet we’ll never get to find some of those things and our cat will probably choke on them and die and we’ll all go to jail for cruelty to animals or something. Way to go, son!”

Looks innocent, right? Wrong. Read the rest of this entry »

This is seriously one of the times where I have absolutely nothing to write about. Seriously. So after two years of resisting, I finally raise the white flag and answer a meme. Yes, a meme. On my blog. Stop laughing. Seriously. No, seriously, stop it.

Google Image Search result for “meme”

So I was tagged by the lovely Homesick Pinay April Zara, who we at The Man Blog were lucky enough to have interviewed her for a LAMEcast last year. Also, she was the one who started this whole “Ade looks like Dominic Ochoa” thing that everybody isn’t letting me off the hook anytime soon. Right, April? Thanks for bringing back horrible memories. Again, stop laughing.

Anyway, the meme asks one simple question: what things do you want to have this 2008?

Stop laughing. Seriously. P- please. Like now. Read the rest of this entry »

Ade: This morning, I found three gray hairs on my head.
Inner Child: So?
Ade: That means I’m growing old, you insensitive sonofabitch.
Inner Child: And tell me again, why should I care?
Ade: Um, because you’re part of my subconscious?
Inner Child: And?
Ade: I knew it, you couldn’t care less if I’m on the road to growing old. I’ll go find somebody to talk to.
Inner Child: Wait, wait. You’re growing old?
Ade: Apparently, yes. Y’see, we humans have something called a BODY. A body, which parts of the ego -like you- do not have, ages. And therefore, when the body ages, stuff like an aching back, a thinning hairline, an expanding belly and an inability to sustain an erection for more than three seconds. And oh yeah, white hair.
Inner Child: You mean… you can’t keep your birdie stiff for more than three seconds?
Ade: NO! I didn’t mean me, I meant–
Inner Child: But you just said–
Ade: My point is, I’m growing white hair and I feel old.
Inner Child: But what about your bird?
Ade: Let’s not talk about THAT, okay? Read the rest of this entry »